My name is Asha Gilliam and a short time ago I was just like YOU. I had kids and was raising them without either of their dads in the home. I had been conditioned to believe that the only way to provide for my family was by going to school and getting a career. But after getting a degree from a technical college I still ended up as a struggling customer service representative, living pay check to pay check to support myself and my two sons, Jaden and Jayce.
In 2017, I was so tired of trying. I was tired of working three to four jobs at a time. I was tired of living pay check to pay check. I was tired of not being able to enjoy the time I had with my children because I was so tired from work. I was tired of one failed relationship after another. I was so tired that I just began to settle. I had begun to settle for a life with a man based on a foundation of broken promises. I have always considered myself a strong woman, but this man broke me down over time. He was controlling, jealous, paranoid, and worst of all abusive. While he never abused my children, he was violent with me on more than one occasion.
Despite that, I stayed with him. Despite that, I was still ready to settle.
I was settling for this life because I didn’t realize that I deserved more.
It wasn’t until I found myself in the middle of the street, begging for help from anyone willing to help me, beaten, half-naked, my hair cut completely from my head with a pair of scissors while having a kitchen knife held to my neck, that I realized that if I didn’t get out now, I might not make it out alive. I barely escaped his attack, brought on by a fit of jealousy, and it was that near-death experience that changed everything for me. I realized that if something happened to me, my children would be motherless.
I was forced to relocate and leave everything I had known my entire life for me and my children’s safety. I became homeless six months after leaving, so I had to literally rebuild our lives from the ground up. It was during that time that I was aligned with a mentor who helped me understand the importance of valuing myself and my time and the significance of setting higher standards for my family than what I had come to settle for.
I was labeled a ‘victim’ by society because of what happened to me. Made to feel ashamed, as if I had done something wrong because this happened to me.
I could have given up at that moment because if I am being honest, I felt defeated. I wondered why this had to happen to me.
Being victimized is inevitable but being a victim is a choice, suffering is a choice. I realized that you do not have to allow yourself to be a victim even if you’ve been victimized.
Through online training programs, I’ve learned how to take back control of my life by pursuing financial freedom and teaching my children along the way. Eventually, I started my first business in December 2019, Expanding with Asha, LLC to inspire moms to see the importance of increasing their financial literacy to improve their family’s standard of living as well.